Like a rose
The nurse says
Of this new, unexpected opening into my body,
Fastening the pouch with expert hands
Deep red
Inside out
My hands tremble as I empty my
lunch of meatloaf and mashed potatoes
Rendered brown murky liquid
Into the toilet.
Later, in the darkness
I awaken, out of place and time
Covered in the waste of my own body.
My husband answers my call
Blinks himself awake
Calmly circles my naked body
Splayed across the bed
Offered up
Like the pale underbelly of a fish.
He is careful, tender
Approaching, retreating,
Patting and patting again.
Until the flesh is clean
Until the rose is safely covered
Until my spirit is quiet.
My gaze turns away, drifting upward
Lands on the plaster ceiling,
Looking down as this man
By my side for so many years,
Unafraid
Of this new me,
Fastens the pouch,
Pulls a clean gown over my shoulders,
Straightens the covers,
Kisses my forehead
And keeps watch as a I drift back to sleep.
13 thoughts on “A Dance of Love”
Gorgeous and honest. What a beautiful relationship.
Thank you dear Elena.
You still manage to touch my heart.
Mary B. (from 14th St. Y)
Your words are a tapestry of your deep, tender, self acceptance, and self love, and your love for the man who has been doing this dance with you and sometimes leading the dance
It is short essay and with its limited words it is a book. you shape your words to contain millions of stories
Thank you sister Elena
Elena,
You are “not afraid to go there” and how you move us when you do!
My dearest Elena. You are a towering model of strength and courage, of beauty and art, of care and love. Would that we could sprinkle Essence of Elena on everyone. Thank you for this reminder of what love looks like. You are in my heart.
So tender, so loving, so real. Elena, my sister, you are amazing, strong, and fierce for your sake, for our sake, for the sake of those who are suffering. You stay true. ❤️❤️
So beautifully written. It’s what every nurse needs to learn, to see the beauty of the person beyond the altered body. Love to you and your man for knowing this
This mirrors our life right now – almost exactly. In our case, my husband is the recipient of a life saving ileostomy following a medical accident during a routine surgery, that lead to sepsis and a colo-urethral fistula. We have been living with ostomy culture for just over a year and having had bowel and bladder reconstruction in March, my sweet warrior of a man is scheduled for a reversal in August. Prayers that the reconstruction holds and that my husband is able to return to the active lifestyle he had before this all happened. This life has brought us to a whole new level of intimacy; one where caring for him and his body has been a “beautiful dance” and a privilege. Note to prostate surgeons who may read this: You hold an awesome power to both save and change lives- often not for the better (he’s gone over a year without treating the cancer because of this accident). When you think to yourselves: “I want to go a little bit beyond the margins” during a surgery, please think twice.
Tenderly written
Thank you
Sweet, simple & pure love demonstrated and accepted. Nothing better.
So very poignant and beautifully rendered.
I want to say Hi! I recently finished reading “Waking in Havana.” I appreciate your chronicling some of the thoughts, feelings and decisions we had growing up in the 60s and 70s. I’m glad to hear you’re still learning and growing. Also that you have some one to love you.
Susan
This was just a very touching piece, and written in such an elegant fashion. Thank you for sharing such an intimate moment.