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Pushing and Pulling

Medical training consists of years of daily pushing and pulling. As a medical student, or during residency, you are constantly pulling in senior residents for consultations to provide desperately needed guidance ensuring that you don’t hurt anyone; or else you’re pushing away those same senior residents when you finally feel, It’s okay, I got this.

If you ask for help too early, you’ll meet with stern and frustrated rebukes: “I’m busy! Why are you calling me? You should be able to manage this by now!”

But if you call too late, it’s: “Why didn’t you call me? What the hell were you thinking? You coulda killed him!”

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An American Journey

I vividly remember sitting in the living room of my grandmother’s house in Piedra Blanca, Dominican Republic. The room had been cleared of furniture. Before me, a flower-filled casket held the body of a young girl—my sister Nelsida, age seven. She had died from an anesthesia overdose prior to surgery.

I was five. I will never forget the sight of the cotton balls inside her nose and ears, the ice under the casket and the scent of the flowers. And that beautiful pink and white dress she wore, with a tiara that was her favorite. In the next room, my mother and sisters were screaming in grief.

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