fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

A “Straightforward” Neurosurgical Procedure

I once introduced myself as a retired academic emergency physician, bioethicist, and wilderness medicine specialist. These days, I prefer part-human, part-hardware.

It began in Antarctica. My gait deteriorated; my cognition slowed. My wife noticed both — gently, though with her unfortunate track record of being right.

Back home, a carousel of neurologists took their turns. Their theories ranged from imaginatively inaccurate to implausibly terminal. I suspected idiopathic normal pressure hydrocephalus. Most dismissed the idea. One brave neurologist agreed. Her colleagues dismissed her, too.

A neurosurgeon entered. Calm, competent, reassuring. “Let’s place a ventriculoperitoneal shunt,” he said. “Straightforward procedure.”

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Alike in Disability

My first experience with healthcare and disability came when my youngest daughter was born. I knew something, besides her obvious club foot, was amiss. The pediatrician arrived. “Why doesn’t she flinch and fling her arms back?” I asked as I leaned her back to latch onto my breast. “She’s fine,” he said.

He looked in her mouth and noted her high, arched palate. “Your palate is high, too,” he assured me. “It is?” I thought.

“She’s jaundiced,” he said, noting her yellow eyes and skin. “Very common,” he added. “She has the same color eyes and skin as you.”

“Doesn’t that make me jaundiced, too?” I thought.

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An Inadvertent Medical Voluntourist

When I was a young, idealistic premedical student, I inadvertently became a medical voluntourist—an often dismissive term for someone who combines vacationing with rendering short-term volunteer aid.

Picture a bright-eyed American student headed for a foreign country in the hope of contributing to saving lives. My group traveled through a jungle to get to a location that the director of this study-abroad opportunity had described as a remote village, with a patient who needed a house call. Pure excitement, angst, and joy bubbled from us throughout the trek—but nothing prepared us for what we would inadvertently do.

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A Tale of Two Exam Rooms

At a recent work meeting, one topic of discussion was the shortage of exam rooms for residents in the former city hospital where I practice. Should residents clean the rooms between patients to improve patient flow? Most of my colleagues were opposed to this idea. Wouldn’t it be yet another deterrent for residents contemplating primary care?

Later that morning, I had my annual physical with the primary care doctor I’ve been seeing since my own residency. Her urban office had been flooded over the holidays by a burst pipe, so she was seeing patients in a temporary location, in a tony suburb west of Boston. I drove into the office park and noticed a Morgan Stanley building. I stopped to let two young men, who looked like walking clichés of financiers-in-the-making, cross. One of them turned toward me and smirked. What did that mean? I wondered. I pulled into an open parking space and entered the building that was temporarily housing my PCP’s practice.

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When I Dream, Do I Misbehave?

Normally, rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is associated with dreams and physiologic muscle atonia—aka paralysis. But in patients with REM sleep behaviour disorder (RBD), the normal suppression of motor activity is lost, leading people to move in response to their dreams; this so-called “dream enactment behaviour” can often be violent.

The vast majority of patients with RBD eventually demonstrate signs and symptoms of Parkinson’s disease or a related disorder, often after a prolonged interval. In one study, the risk rose by about 6% each year, with three-quarters of participants converting within 12 years. Even in cases that appear not to follow that progression, imaging and autopsy studies often demonstrate changes otherwise associated with Parkinsonism.

There is no known treatment to prevent the onset or progression of Parkinson’s.

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What Don’t I Know that I Know?

She arrives in a flurry of fabric and frills, whisking her mask away as she gazes out the window. “Oh, I’m not wearing this. I can’t breathe.”

My registrar and I share a brief glance through our goggles, over our N95s. She huffs onto the bed.

“And what is it that brings you here?”

“Oh, it’s too tedious to go over that again. What are you doing today?”

“We’ve been asked to do a nerve conduction study of your arms and hands to assess for neuropathy and carpal tunnel syndrome.”

“Actually, I have symptoms all over.”

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The Guest House

Rumi had it right in his poem that begins “This being human is a guest house / Every morning a new arrival.” I hope that my medical practice is a guest house and I its welcoming host, offering all that’s at my disposal to fulfill the needs of my guests: the distant, noble intention of a younger self; the years of study; the slow distilling of long hours of experience; hopeful trials, shamefaced errors; the battering by the inexorability of death.

“And how can I help you today?” I ask this morning’s first “guest.”

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Shepherding

In 1983, I published my first essay, and not long ago, I reached my “1,000 career bylines” goal. As a totally blind person, I couldn’t have done any of this without Braille. Or, without the inspiration I receive from residents and staff of the senior facility where I live.

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Questions That Need to Be Asked

In medical school, the importance of monitoring vital signs, labs, and disease markers was drilled into our brains. When these numbers were sub-par, we were told to advise folks to “eat less processed food,” “get more exercise,” “take your meds as prescribed,” etc. It becomes easy to fall into the trap of treating the humans sitting across from us in the exam room as the total of their labs and vitals. But for many patients, other factors are just as important. Some cannot easily eat well or bathe themselves, so they ask their PCP to find home health care to assist them with food shopping, meal preparation, laundry, and basic housework.

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In a Different Light

“Doctor, he cannot be moved. Could you arrange to see him at home?” Admittedly, a request like that is almost never exactly welcome at first blush. Sometimes, you know such an appointment can be managed from a distance (if the patient’s problem isn’t serious). More often, you worry about practical difficulties (how to find the home—now much easier since the advent of GPS; whether there will be a convenient parking space; how much can you do without your usual office facilities; and, most importantly, how you’re going to carve out the necessary time—several multiples of a routine office visit—from your already busy workday).

In practice however, you rarely regret a home visit. Once you overcome your hesitation, and the practical obstacles, you get to know your patients in a different light when you see them in their own daily environment, which certainly impacts on their health and quality of life in many ways.

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Died Alone

The loneliest existence I have ever encountered was a hospital room that briefly held an elderly man.

At report, there were no significant signs suggesting his inevitable outcome. I began my first rounds as I had done thousands of nights before. I checked on him and introduced myself. His response was lackadaisical, perhaps even whimsical. Nothing stood out. No red flags caught my attention.

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Feeling at Home

I’ve been working for over five years in home-based primary care division of geriatrics. As a physician assistant (PA), I don’t have to stay in one specialty for my whole career. Many PA friends from graduate school have transitioned between fields: cardiology, bone marrow transplant, neuro ICU, critical care, OB-GYN, dermatology, oncology, and so on. Why haven’t I switched to something more glamorous or exciting? The answer is almost impossible to capture in words, but I’ll give it a try…

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