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fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

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Tag: heart surgery

Bea and Me

Editor’s Note: This piece was a finalist in the Pulse writing contest, “On Being Different.”

On the night Bea’s chest pain began—when the heaviness like a fist took her breath away, the beads of sweat gathering on her forehead—it frightened her, as it did not stop. She was alone, and as she reached for the phone, she paused. Who should she call?

The pain increased. She reluctantly dialed 911. She mumbled the answers to the operator and remembered to open her door before collapsing on the couch.

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Alive

40 years ago
the night before Halloween
they let me into the frigid room

where they were keeping you
deeply sedated, your skin blue
and clammy, barely alive after

having trouble bringing you back,
with a wicked incision stitched
from collarbone to near navel

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The Judgment of Solomon

As a cancer doctor, I’m no stranger to asking patients with a life-threatening malignancy about their wishes. My question generally goes something like this: “Going forward, do you want to pursue intensive treatment, or forgo it in favor of enjoying the time that remains to you, with relief for your symptoms as needed?”

Asking this question is an intrinsic part of my job. But when I found myself having to ask it of a family member, I felt shaken. This was different.

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