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A Good Day

“You know what they say, Dr. Chew—every day above ground is a good day.”

My next patient, for whom this is a mantra, is in the waiting room when I duck out for an overdue bathroom break. Her bleached blonde hair is tangled, her jeans tight and faded, her face mashed like a boxer 20 years her senior. Her gray eyes vigilantly scan the crowded room.

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Tourette Syndrome

Editor’s Note: This piece was a finalist in the Pulse writing contest, “On Being Different.”

“Hello. My name is Joan, and I have Tourette syndrome.”

This is my fantasy greeting when meeting people. It would give them notice that there’s something different about me—that I have a chronic neurological condition. It would alert them that I might make repetitive, annoying sounds, like clearing my throat or sniffing; or suddenly make a strange body movement, like flinging out my arm or jerking my head or shuddering. Not to mention the unexpected outbursts of irrational anger.

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The Daily Marathon

When I was in medical school, a physiology lecturer told us about a book called Pride and a Daily Marathon. This narrative case study, written by neurophysiologist Jonathan Cole, is about the struggles and triumphs of a young man in his quest to live a full life after he awakes one morning having lost all sensation below his neck.

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Grin and Bear It

Making it through medical training, an ableist system, with a disabled body, took all the grit I could summon. In residency, I managed severe pain and exhaustion from an autoimmune condition. Work hours were grueling, and I needed to sleep nearly every minute I was not in the hospital. Attending medical appointments or working make-up shifts for peers who covered sick call in my “free time” on post-call days was torture.

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A Legacy of Strength and Perseverance

As a noun, grit is defined as “courage and resolve, strength of character.” It often emerges in the face of great challenges. We associate grit with heroic figures: army captains holding their ground against tremendous odds, navy commanders saving sinking ships, air force pilots navigating disaster zones. Yet, many gritty individuals remain unsung heroes, quietly shaping lives. My maternal grandfather was one such hero.

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Grits and Grit

My husband and I took care of my Alzheimer’s-ridden mom for five years, and as any caregiver knows, we all have had to develop “true grit.” “Grit” to me is inner mettle and perseverance.

Any disease is difficult to deal with, but with Alzheimer’s, you’re often dealing with an ungrateful stranger, due to the changes in the brain. The “stranger” part didn’t bother me as much as the “ungrateful” part did.

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The Art of Listening

Reflecting on the start of my medical studies and career, I realize that it took me more than ten years to refine my ability to practice the art of listening. Partly that may have been because English is not my mother tongue; but it was also because listening is an arduous task. As Kate Murphy writes in her book You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing & Why It Matters: “Understanding is the goal of listening, and it takes effort.”

My first hard lesson in this area occurred when I was a medical student, doing research at a needle-exchange program. A patient named Haris had been screened for HIV, and his test result was positive. He was the first patient to whom I had to give such bad news.

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Delicious and Durable

The room was packed and energy buzzed in the air. I couldn’t help but smile as students and parents hovered around our food safety stations. Some were scanning nutrition labels, and others were laughing as they guessed how much sugar was in a soda, or how much fat was in a potato chip, or how many calories were in a candy bar. It felt amazing to see everything come together, but behind the scenes was tons of hard work.

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Mind over Matter

With age has come fear. A fear of walking outside ever since I fell two years ago and fractured my pelvis. A fear of driving at night, despite cataract surgeries having eliminated hazy vision. A fear of flying that has kept me grounded for more than two decades. I wake up every morning, fearing what the day will bring. A good day is a boring one that has nothing out of the ordinary happening.

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January More Voices: Grit

Dear Pulse readers,

When I think of grit, I think of someone who perseveres–and sometimes triumphs–in the face of hardship.

When I was nineteen years old I hitchhiked alone across the US and back. Was that grit? Or was it teenage wanderlust and foolhardiness?

Making my way through medical school certainly involved hardship–and I persevered. Was it grit that got me through, or was it a fear of failing?

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Bread and Butter

Shattering the relative peace of an early Sunday morning, a chorus of assorted ringtones echoes through the emergency department where I work as an attending physician. The noise is a heads-up from an incoming ambulance, directed to the ED staff members’ portable phones.

I sigh and set down the cup of cafeteria coffee I’d been enjoying: The pace of the day is about to pick up. I unclip my phone from the waistband of my scrub pants. Sitting next to me, Ben, the senior resident, grabs his phone from the pocket of his fleece vest.

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