Neeta Nayak, Author at Pulse

The Brown Girl

I was 25 years old when I started my internship. My heart palpitated on my first day, as I made rounds on a long patient list. I was dressed in a long skirt and blouse under my white coat. My raven hair, brown eyes, and Indian accent made me stand out.

All my patients were cooperative and my day was going well—until I got to my last patient.

Mrs. S was a frail lady with tightly permed silver hair. Peeking out from under her covers, she took one look at me and asked in a Southern accent, “Who said you can enter?”

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A Disease with Two Victims

1 Comment / Dementia / Neeta Nayak

One of the first house calls I made during my internal medicine residency many years ago was to visit Mr. R: a 70-year-old veteran, retired electrician, devoted grandfather, and church volunteer who’d shown signs of memory loss for six years. His forgetfulness was initially dismissed as “senior moments.” Then he forgot his wife’s birthday—something he’d never done in 40 years.

The turning point came when he got lost after picking up his grandson from school. They were finally found two hours away, where a flustered Mr. R had been driving in circles. Taking away his car keys was traumatic, and subsequent memory testing confirmed a probable diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease.

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A Legacy of Strength and Perseverance

6 Comments / Grit / Neeta Nayak

As a noun, grit is defined as “courage and resolve, strength of character.” It often emerges in the face of great challenges. We associate grit with heroic figures: army captains holding their ground against tremendous odds, navy commanders saving sinking ships, air force pilots navigating disaster zones. Yet, many gritty individuals remain unsung heroes, quietly shaping lives. My maternal grandfather was one such hero.

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The Love of Her Labor

6 Comments / Birth / Neeta Nayak

An arranged marriage followed by childbirth within the next year was the lot of many Indian women for centuries.

Moving to the USA provided some reproductive freedom. With little support from extended family in a foreign land, I wanted to complete fellowship before having children, but the dreaded biological clock was ticking louder. I remember feeling conflicted: wanting to wait, but acutely aware of aging eggs. We decided there would never be a perfect time.

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The Lame Surgeon

44 Comments / Getting Motivated / Neeta Nayak

Had Dad not passed this month fifteen years ago, we would be celebrating his birthday today. He was born–and died–in October.

This was the time when India was still a British colony. Vaccinations, antibiotics and potable water were not yet available, and infant mortality from infectious disease was high. When dad was two years old, his mother noticed that her active baby went from running to limping, and his left leg looked strange. Terrified, she took him to a country doctor who diagnosed paralytic polio and stated that his leg would be paralyzed forever.

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Feeding Tubes – To Place or Not to Place?

7 Comments / Palliative and Hospice Care / Neeta Nayak

Sometimes I have to pinch myself. Is this really my twenty-fifth year of practice as a palliative care physician? My head is full of memories of caring for hundreds of patients as they navigate their final days of life.

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An Anti-Racism Pill?

10 Comments / A Turn for the Better / Neeta Nayak

Years ago, I had a bedridden patient—Mr. T—with extremely advanced Parkinson’s disease.

He was Caucasian, and the nurses warned me that he harbored extreme nationalist tendencies. Most of the caregivers in his nursing home were female and either immigrants from Africa or Black Americans. He was utterly cruel in his treatment of them. When they’d help transfer him from his bed to a wheelchair, for example, he tried to kick or punch them and issued a stream of profanities. His use of the B-word and the N-word was commonplace.

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Happy Father’s Day!

45 Comments / Regrets/No Regrets / Neeta Nayak

I awoke from a deep sleep today—Sunday, June 16—with a sudden urge to call my dad, nearly 10,000 miles away in India, and wish him Happy Father’s Day. A second later, I remembered that he’d passed away almost 15 years ago.

Was he in a “better place,” as everyone assured me he was when he died at age 69 of metastatic prostate cancer? Could I call him there, as I’d done for years after I left India in my early 20s?

Happy Father’s Day! Read More »

fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

Neeta Nayak

The Brown Girl

A Disease with Two Victims

A Legacy of Strength and Perseverance

The Love of Her Labor

The Lame Surgeon

Feeding Tubes – To Place or Not to Place?

An Anti-Racism Pill?

Happy Father’s Day!

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fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

Neeta Nayak

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