fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

January 2026

A Tale of Two Exam Rooms

At a recent work meeting, one topic of discussion was the shortage of exam rooms for residents in the former city hospital where I practice. Should residents clean the rooms between patients to improve patient flow? Most of my colleagues were opposed to this idea. Wouldn’t it be yet another deterrent for residents contemplating primary care?

Later that morning, I had my annual physical with the primary care doctor I’ve been seeing since my own residency. Her urban office had been flooded over the holidays by a burst pipe, so she was seeing patients in a temporary location, in a tony suburb west of Boston. I drove into the office park and noticed a Morgan Stanley building. I stopped to let two young men, who looked like walking clichés of financiers-in-the-making, cross. One of them turned toward me and smirked. What did that mean? I wondered. I pulled into an open parking space and entered the building that was temporarily housing my PCP’s practice.

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“Out, Out, Brief Candle!”

I grew up in a multigenerational two-family home in Queens, New York City, during the 1960s and Seventies. Every weekend, my grandparents prepared a feast for the whole family. Among them were my mother’s younger brother, Marvin, and his wife, Inge, an artist who’d immigrated from Germany.

They were childless, but Marvin delighted in his four nieces, including my sister and me. A professor of Shakespearean literature, he read Macbeth and King Lear to us when we were young, along with the more child-friendly works of Lewis Carroll.

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When I Dream, Do I Misbehave?

Normally, rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is associated with dreams and physiologic muscle atonia—aka paralysis. But in patients with REM sleep behaviour disorder (RBD), the normal suppression of motor activity is lost, leading people to move in response to their dreams; this so-called “dream enactment behaviour” can often be violent.

The vast majority of patients with RBD eventually demonstrate signs and symptoms of Parkinson’s disease or a related disorder, often after a prolonged interval. In one study, the risk rose by about 6% each year, with three-quarters of participants converting within 12 years. Even in cases that appear not to follow that progression, imaging and autopsy studies often demonstrate changes otherwise associated with Parkinsonism.

There is no known treatment to prevent the onset or progression of Parkinson’s.

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What Don’t I Know that I Know?

She arrives in a flurry of fabric and frills, whisking her mask away as she gazes out the window. “Oh, I’m not wearing this. I can’t breathe.”

My registrar and I share a brief glance through our goggles, over our N95s. She huffs onto the bed.

“And what is it that brings you here?”

“Oh, it’s too tedious to go over that again. What are you doing today?”

“We’ve been asked to do a nerve conduction study of your arms and hands to assess for neuropathy and carpal tunnel syndrome.”

“Actually, I have symptoms all over.”

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The Guest House

Rumi had it right in his poem that begins “This being human is a guest house / Every morning a new arrival.” I hope that my medical practice is a guest house and I its welcoming host, offering all that’s at my disposal to fulfill the needs of my guests: the distant, noble intention of a younger self; the years of study; the slow distilling of long hours of experience; hopeful trials, shamefaced errors; the battering by the inexorability of death.

“And how can I help you today?” I ask this morning’s first “guest.”

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The Call

I sink into the plane’s window seat, shade pulled down. My eyelids droop toward sleep. Next to me, headphones in place, my husband catches up on the latest Captain America movie.

I can almost forget that our young son and daughter sit in the row behind us, silent and still, plugged into the iPad for reruns of Good Luck Charlie. They sip the Cokes they never have at home. Together, we fly to Arizona for winter break. After months of working ten- to twelve-hour days as a physician in Connecticut, my body, mind and spirit ache for rest and sunshine.

I hear a distant announcement overhead, and one word grips my attention and snaps my eyes wide open:

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Hot Start: Emergency Medicine Residency

“If I had known it would be like this, I never would have come here,” said my 90-year-old patient with chest pain, sitting in the EMS gurney awaiting triage. All around are beds, lining the wall, with elderly, demented patients moaning.

A younger man in handcuffs flanked by sheriff’s deputies stares me down, and the officers give me an inquisitive look, as if to say, “Is anyone going to help us?” I tell them that a doctor will see him when we get a chance. One of the officers rolls his eyes.

I turn back to the elderly man in front of me, voice my shared frustration, and tell him that we will start his evaluation but that he will be transferred to the already full waiting room to wait for his results.

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Midnight on the Psych Ward

In June 2013, my life was upended by a psychotic break after several months of chaotic and progressively disabling thoughts and behaviors. Then, on Father’s Day in the early morning, I became acutely manic, convinced I was going to solve the problem of the exorbitant cost of undergraduate education. Instead of sleeping, I wrote frantically in a notebook, filling the pages with my thoughts and plans for saving humanity. Meanwhile, I also became convinced that my upcoming presentation for my Master’s in Health Professions Education should be the first and in fact only presentation at that day’s Convocation Seminar. At 3 a.m., I called my eighty-year-old parents and insisted that they come right away–a one-hour-plus drive–to watch my extraordinary presentation.

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The Changing World of Nursing

I started my nursing career in 1977 after graduating from an excellent NYU nursing program. I moved upstate to work in a community hospital’s Cardiac Care Unit.

It was wonderful to care for a manageable number of patients who were afflicted with a variety of cardiac conditions. At that time, nurses were allowed to insert IVs and NG tubes, manage various medicated drips, and follow standing orders in emergent situations. Every patient was visited by their own family doctor who was committed and passionate about their patient’s care.

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