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Paul Gross

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An Editor’s Invitation: Drinking

At my college, if you were male, drinking beer earned you acceptance, admiration and praise. For some reason, drinking many beers and capping it off by violently throwing up was seen as manly.

I’m not much of a drinker, which took its toll on my college status. To this day, I’m happy sharing just one beer with my wife

I don’t consider this a matter of virtue, it’s simply the way I’m wired. Neither of my parents were big drinkers.

Yet in my own life and in my medical practice I’ve seen the impact of alcohol on others.

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An Editor’s Invitation: How Can I Help?

Sometimes, when a patient comes to me with a myriad of thorny problems–“My teenage son is stressing me out…I’m so depressed…My back pain has come back…The insurance won’t cover any more physical therapy…None of the medicines are doing any good…My mother’s memory is failing…” I’ll ask, “How were you hoping I could help you today?”
 
Said unfeelingly, this question may sound like an attempt to shut my ears and cut to the chase. Expressed with genuine concern, however, I hope it comes across somewhat differently–as a wish to make best use of our time together, an invitation to shine a light on a path we can walk together.
 

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An Editor’s Invitation: Making Assumptions

As a physician, I make assumptions all the time.
When a child or teenager presents to me with chest pain, I assume that the pain is not being caused by heart disease–the thing that they or their parent are most worried about.
Yes, I do my due diligence to confirm that assumption. But that snap judgment occurs as quickly as the words “chest pain” are out of a youngster’s mouth.

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An Editor’s Invitation: LGBTQ+

When I was a freshman in college, my closest friend told me that he was pretty sure he was gay.

I was perplexed. I knew that gay men existed, but I’d never known one. (Of course I had; I just didn’t realize it.)

Not long after, my friend began a journey of exploration, of figuring out who he was–yes, he was gay–and I had the good sense to reserve judgment, to listen and learn, and to remain his friend.

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An Editor’s Invitation: Abortion

This month’s More Voices theme is Abortion.

For a long time, we’ve resisted posting this theme out of concern that it would generate more heat than light–more vitriol than compassion. But recent legislation that would make abortions illegal in Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, and now Louisiana has made us think that we need to find a way to broach this subject and talk about it with kindness and respect for one another.

Might we start that conversation by sharing our personal stories about abortion?

I hope so, and I’d like to share two experiences.

A patient of mine, I’ll call her Sandra, came to see me, thrilled to be pregnant with her second child. All seemed to be going well, but then an ultrasound at twenty weeks showed something alarming: the fetus was missing vital organs.

While there was a slight chance that Sandra could continue the pregnancy to term, there was no way that an infant born in this condition could survive.

Sandra was devastated. Truly. She wondered whether the ultrasound could be wrong–and wanted it repeated. She wanted to know what could be done to save this pregnancy. Could a brand-new infant receive organ transplants?

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An Editor’s Invitation: Abortion

This month’s More Voices theme is Abortion.

For a long time, we’ve resisted posting this theme out of concern that it would generate more heat than light–more vitriol than compassion. But recent legislation that would make abortions illegal in Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, and now Louisiana has made us think that we need to find a way to broach this subject and talk about it with kindness and respect for one another.

Might we start that conversation by sharing our personal stories about abortion?

I hope so, and I’d like to share two experiences.

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An Editor’s Invitation: Parenting

I just returned from a conference in Toronto. At one point, I was sitting at a table with three strangers–family physicians from distant locations. One was cradling a toddler. Another was visibly pregnant with her third child. Before long the four of us were passing around cellphone photos of our offspring, blessing one another with little cries of admiration.

That’s how long it took for us to go from strangers to intimate friends.

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An Editor’s Invitation: Telling the Truth

To me, there’s something sacred about honesty, and telling the truth is one of the things that attracted me to the healing professions. Inside an exam room or a therapist’s office, any magic that happens arises out of honesty: We talk about what’s really going on in the body or in the soul. We acknowledge our fears. We say things that, in the telling, bring us relief.

The truth can be painful. I know. I was once given the diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. But what stung more than the truth itself was the way in which that truth was delivered to me–in a waiting room, by a receptionist.

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An Editor’s Invitation: A Fresh Start

The New Year offers all of us a chance for a fresh start–to look at things differently, to act differently, to try new things or to take on old issues in a new way.

Illness can be an invitation to a fresh start. As we slog through the muck of sickness, it’s tempting to strike a deal with the powers that be: When I recover from this, I’m going to start taking better care of myself.

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