With age has come fear. A fear of walking outside ever since I fell two years ago and fractured my pelvis. A fear of driving at night, despite cataract surgeries having eliminated hazy vision. A fear of flying that has kept me grounded for more than two decades. I wake up every morning, fearing what the day will bring. A good day is a boring one that has nothing out of the ordinary happening.
My lack of grit was recently tested when my son bought a condo in Vancouver, his adopted home. He desperately wanted me to see his first real home and help him set it up, but that would require two airplanes to British Columbia and two back home. I cannot even fly the short trip to New York City to see my daughter, but instead opt for the nine-hour Amtrak train. However, after much reflection and many internal conversations, I decided my love for my son needed to outweigh my fear of flying. With determination—and medication—I succeeded in twice flying across the country and enjoying quality time with him.
True grit, I have realized, does not require physical strength but does necessitate a mental state that allows little room for fear. It also means weighing the rewards—seeing my son—against the consequences—missing out on this milestone in his life. True grit—the refusal to allow fear to control me—means seeing the cracks in the sidewalk as abstract art, not as an inevitable disaster. It means meeting friends for dinner, even if the sun sets while eating dessert. It means accepting whatever the day brings with serenity, not panic that the world is about to end.
While I am not a fan of easily-broken New Year’s resolutions, I am determined to make 2025 my Year of Courage. With more years behind me than ahead of me, I want to reach a mental state that allows me to experience life to the fullest. I do not anticipate parachuting from a plane or white-water rafting, but I am open to opportunities that force me to replace my sweats with real clothes, leave my apartment, and venture into the world of people and adventures.
By emphasizing mind over matter, resolve over fear, I will make the most of whatever time remains for me. Grit, not cowardice, will allow me to soar.
Ronna L. Edelstein
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
2 thoughts on “Mind over Matter”
Way to go Ronna! this is a hard state to achieve, when it’s so easy for fear and anxiety to take over. Thank you!
Thank you, Colleen! Have a healthy, happy New Year.