fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

Search
Close this search box.

fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

Search
Close this search box.

Choices

Life is a series of choices—some important, some mundane. This is a story about a rather mundane choice of mine that was very important to someone else.

It was Friday. Because of the location of my visits that day as a hospice nurse, I’d had no opportunity to get lunch. Now, finally headed home, I decided to find a restaurant for dinner. I wanted a relatively quiet place so I finish writing my last few care plans and notes as I ate. I remembered Uncle Joe’s—a nice little Italian restaurant; even if it was full, it had no more than 12 tables. I hadn’t been there in a while but knew they had good iced tea, so I decided it would be just right.

I ate my chicken and shrimp fra diavolo and sipped on my iced tea as I finished my notes. After dinner, I was working on the last few care plans and feeling liberated that I’d have no more work once I got home.

As I was writing away, one of the servers looked over my shoulder and made a comment about working during dinner on a Friday night. One thing led to another, and I mentioned I was a hospice nurse. She responded with the usual “How can you do that? Don’t you get attached?” Then she sat down at my table and proceeded to tell me about her father’s death. She wanted reassurance that her father had heard what she’d said to him before he died. I told her that people can hear even if they’re too weak to reply. A tear rolled down her cheek. She said she’d been thinking about her father all day, hoping for a sign that things were okay. She decided that meeting me was the sign.

She called the owner from the back and introduced us. They both said they hoped I’d return, and I said I would. I finished my updates and my iced tea and waited for the check. Finally, I walked toward the cash register. The other server met me and said dinner “was on the house.” What a surprise! A practical decision (where will I eat?) had ended up being a positive sign for a woman who missed her father very much.

A patient’s daughter once told our chaplain, “There are no coincidences.” (That is another story . . .) I’m not sure I’d go that far, but I must admit, there were enough coincidences that Friday evening to make one wonder.

Judy Goldthorp
Euless, Texas

 

Comments

12 thoughts on “Choices”

  1. Aw, Judy! Wonderful article! Even at this late date, many years after Mom’s death, this article gave me comfort. I only hope she knew how much I loved her. And, I believe she did.

    1. Cindy,
      For sure your mom knew how much you loved her. She was so proud of you.
      I think of her every time I look at her cross-stitch picture. What a determined woman she was! There’s another story . . . of a woman with gnarled, arthritic hands, who worked on beautiful counted cross-stitch pictures, with the goal of finishing one every month. I loved checking the progress of her cross-stitch every week, and watching the picture take shape.

  2. You are one of the most amazing nurses I know. It is no surprise that your loving care impacts people “after hours.” I love that you wrote and shared this. ❤️ Thank you.

  3. No doubt this was one of many many times you were able to offer a comforting word to a grieving stranger. That’s just who you are… Shirley Farrar

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related More Voices

More Voices Themes

Scroll to Top