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Latest Voices
Insomnia Coach
My mother, in her seventies, was struggling with insomnia, due to a combination of stress and medical problems. As a physician daughter, I’ve avoided giving my family specific medical advice, especially unsolicited.
Yet I know cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most effective treatment for insomnia. Years ago, a conference speaker emphasized the primacy of CBT for sleep issues and recommended a free app developed by the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA).
Chemo Journeys
DRIVEN
My wife closes her eyes as I pull out of our driveway. She usually navigates, but not today. Pale as a ghost, she dozes off.
Even with GPS, I feel lost.
Finally, we arrive at our destination. I position the car carefully so she can get out without falling. As I watch her gathering up her things, I remind her that she’s brought too much—there’s no way she’ll use it all.
Rapid Mobilization
Since November 6, 2024, nothing has been routine for health care providers like me who proudly provide gender-affirming health care to trans and gender-diverse people. Now, every medical visit is marked with a pregnant pause after I enter the exam room, say hello, and ask how the patient is today . . . after which each patient expresses their profound fears and anxieties about whether they will be able to continue to get the care they need to be healthy and safe. My clinical sessions are packed with patients, and discussions such as these need time and attention, so now
Finding My Ikigai
As I read the book Ikigai and explored the Japanese concept of that name—essentially, finding life’s purpose—I was drawn to the serene depictions of rural Japanese life, where people find meaning in simple routines—tending gardens and engaging in community rituals that foster longevity and happiness. The stories are beautiful, and it’s heartening to know that places exist where life is peaceful and its purpose clear. Yet I approached this book during a period of existential reflection, seeking guidance on finding purpose amidst the complexity of modern life. In this context, the concept of ikigai offered inspiration but lacked practical answers.
I Just Wasn’t Comfortable
Laurie Donohue, MD, a longstanding colleague of mine, died October 24, 2024. We were a year apart in family medicine residency, both practicing at Brown Square Health Center, an FQHC (Federally Qualified Health Center) in Rochester, New York. We worked together for years, maintaining adjacent clinical practices. For several years we shared an office and often bounced clinical situations off each other, or shared challenges and support. Both of us had dedicated patient panels, and we seldom saw each other’s patients. I loved working with Laurie; her calm and steady presence balanced me in so many ways.
Housebound
I’ve always enjoyed being around people, both at work and with friends. I also liked daily biking and sailing off and on. Then, in 1990, a neuroimmune illness hit me out of the blue. Since that time, the disease has kept me almost completely housebound and able to tolerate only brief personal contacts.
Grief Without Closure
I just returned from the cemetery. It was 10 years ago today—November 1—that my beloved father died in my arms. The sun has daily risen and set during this past decade; I have gone about my business of reading, attending theatrical productions, napping, and meeting with friends. My children and I have gotten closer. But there is a hole in my soul from which I will never recover. Until I take my last breath, I will miss, mourn, celebrate, and love my father.
November More Voices: Recovering
Dear readers,
I’m still recovering from my diagnosis of type 1 diabetes forty years ago. The recovery involves daily injections of insulin, a continuous glucose monitor affixed to my upper arm and a hovering awareness of where my blood sugar is at any moment and which way it’s headed.
Recovering isn’t just about getting over an operation or a brief illness, although life does offer us some quick recoveries: At age five I got over my tonsillectomy in a week or two; and, luckily for me, my bout of COVID last winter left no lasting effects.
One Step at a Time
It’s hard to be overlooked, especially if you’re quiet and shy by nature. So I developed a mask. A speak-up, in-your-face, gutsy personality—an alternate face! But inside I’m still shy and non-confrontational.
Food became my comfort. Was I stressed at work? I’d eat. Was I angry with my husband? I’d eat. Was a party too noisy? I’d eat in a corner. I ballooned, but I didn’t feel better. I preferred staying home, snacking, and watching NetFlix to going out.
