2019 Archives - Page 8 of 10

Lost Memories

Andrea Eisenberg May 2, 2019 1 Comment

Throughout my pregnancy, I didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl–I wanted to be surprised. When my baby was delivered, the doctor yelled, “It’s a girl!” A daughter–what I’d hoped for! Although I would have loved a son equally, in all honesty I’d hoped for a daughter. I thought long and hard about her name, wanting something significant, and chose Olivia, which means peace, and Rose, because I had a passion for roses. Olivia Rose.

What do I do with that name now?

Ruled by Angst

Ronna L. Edelstein May 1, 2019 1 Comment

Even as a young girl, I lived by the rules. And in my work as a teacher, rules guided how I ran my classroom. However, as a single parent of a son and a daughter, I was never clear on the rules. Instead, I wandered through the maze of parenting, often losing my way and believing that no path would lead me to a safe exit.

An Editor’s Invitation: Parenting

Paul Gross May 1, 2019 No Comments

I just returned from a conference in Toronto. At one point, I was sitting at a table with three strangers–family physicians from distant locations. One was cradling a toddler. Another was visibly pregnant with her third child. Before long the four of us were passing around cellphone photos of our offspring, blessing one another with little cries of admiration.

That’s how long it took for us to go from strangers to intimate friends.

A Moment in Hospice

Ingrid Chen April 24, 2019 No Comments

She is a collector: stamps, coins, wine glasses of various shades and shapes, Donald Duck memorabilia. These are her childhood treasures rediscovered from boxes in the attic. Her mother kept them all, not knowing they would serve a purpose someday. On the nightstand is a recent photograph of this radiant woman with chestnut curls.

The person before me now is an empty vessel and nothing more; her limbs limp, her breaths shallow, her eyes closed, her age: fifty-four. The dressings need to be changed around-the-clock to slow the march of decay. The wound tunnels deep, exposing her sacrum as the soaked gauze is removed. Her body is still. Not yet at peace but near the point of defeat.

Point of Departure

Joan DelFattore April 9, 2019 2 Comments

It sounded like a simple question. Do I still have cancer, or not?

The surgeon got clear margins, and cancer wasn’t in the lymph nodes. But my oncologists strongly recommended chemotherapy in case microscopic cancer cells remained, undetectable by any test.

Coping with the Present

Anonymous April 2, 2019 No Comments

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago. I did my best to get all the information I needed through research and information, but the thought of having cancer scared me. So I listened to everything my doctor had to say–including that I could have either chemotherapy or surgery, but that with surgery, he would be more likely to get all of the cancer, since it had not spread beyond my prostate. I chose surgery.

An Abyss of Not Knowing

Mary Sawyer April 2, 2019 No Comments

She looked at me with desperation in her eyes. “I just don’t know,” she said.

“What’s wrong? What don’t you know?” I asked. With tears in her eyes and increased urgency in her voice, M insisted, “I just don’t know…I don’t know. I don’t know!” Hands turning white from gripping the armrests of her wheelchair, she slumped over, shut her eyes and shook her head in honest confusion and fear.

Caregiver Unaware

Mark VanderKlipp April 1, 2019 No Comments

My Dad is eighty-nine years old and has a glioblastoma, the same as former Sen. John McCain. He’s doing well despite his condition, and my siblings and I are surrounding him with support. Someone lives with him full-time, and we have a weekly check-in meeting so we’re all apprised of his current condition and contributing to his health. Based in our home town, my brother and sister are his primary care team; I live two-and-a-half hours away.

In February I traveled there to work from his home for a week. First thing Monday, I took him to a progress appointment with his neurology team. Coming in from the outside, I had almost no current knowledge of his condition or medications. Because of that, I was unprepared when the staff person at reception handed me a sheaf of paper on a clipboard to fill out by hand. I asked her whether it was necessary since my Dad’s entire medical record is with this one large health system; she confirmed that it was.

The Waiting Game

Ronna L. Edelstein April 1, 2019 No Comments

My first three breast biopsies resulted from self-examinations that revealed a lump in my breast. The fourth—and, so far, final biopsy—came after my surgeon felt a mass in my breast during a routine check-up.

Each biopsy brought its own trauma. For biosies one and two, I had to find sitters to care for my two, young children. For biopsies three and four, I had to arrange lesson plans for my substitute teacher. I had to ensure that a family member would be with me during the out-patient procedures, and I had to gear myself up for the IV and anesthetic, both of which scared me more than a Halloween haunted house. After the biopsies, I had to be extra careful about doing exercises or wetting the affected area.

But the profound repercussion of four biopsies was the not knowing: waiting a week for the test results to come back.

An Editor’s Invitation: Not Knowing

Paul Gross April 1, 2019 No Comments

This month’s More Voices theme is Not Knowing.

Not knowing is an uncomfortable state for health professional and patient alike. And it’s striking how often, despite my profession’s reverence for knowledge and certainty, I’m unsure–or simply don’t have the answers.

Full Disclosure

Andrea Eisenberg March 5, 2019 No Comments

After a long night, the frigid morning air slapped me awake as I walked out of the hospital from just attending a delivery. Once home, I decided I had enough energy to do a “high intensity” workout and signed myself up to go in an hour.

I made myself a strong cup of coffee and changed into my gym clothes, pretending I was just starting a new day. Back into the cold with the coffee lingering on my breath, I headed out again.

For some reason, the workout seemed especially hard. I even commented to the woman next to me, “Isn’t this

Tell Me it’s Nothing to Worry About

Jeffrey Millstein March 3, 2019 No Comments

Bill has always been one of my healthiest patients. In his mid-sixties, I see him for annual check-ups and for one minor complaint or another. He is proud of his healthy lifestyle and has an air of invicibility about him. He often rants about how people are lazy and bring illness on themselves.

I’ve grown accustomed to handing Bill far more reassurance than prescriptions. Until this week, that is, when he pointed to his mid-chest and began to tell me his story.

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2019