Saying No
I live a “say no” life — as to drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol. Yet on my twenty-first birthday, I deviated from my rule and, with a group of fellow graduate students, sat at a bar and imbibed one celebratory drink after another. I cannot remember what the bar looked like, but I do recall that it was loud — filled with voices and music — and that it got progressively louder with each drink I had. I cannot remember what I wore on that warm August evening in Evanston, Illinois, but I can still feel the clamminess of my skin as the alcohol began to take effect. I also cannot remember how I got back to my apartment; the next morning I found myself atop my bed, my shirt stained with drops of saliva and bits of vomit.
An Editor’s Invitation: Drinking
I’m not much of a drinker, which took its toll on my college status. To this day, I’m happy sharing just one beer with my wife
I don’t consider this a matter of virtue, it’s simply the way I’m wired. Neither of my parents were big drinkers.
Yet in my own life and in my medical practice I’ve seen the impact of alcohol on others.
Lost in a Frigging Spaghetti Maze
Confronting a Colleague’s Loss of a Child
The Power of Doing Nothing
Mary barely introduces herself before describing her struggles. Married for thirteen years, the mother of two little boys, she complains about her husband’s alcoholism. Her in-laws’ get-togethers revolve around heavy drinking, dancing, and singing, often extending into the next morning. Last weekend, after her husband got fired, she took her boys and slept at her mother’s place.
With a Little Help from My Friends
Six years ago, I retired early because of serious health problems. I’d worked for decades as a doctor.
Early on, it was difficult for me to ask for and accept help. I was always the one who stepped in, not the one who needed assistance. Well-meaning friends would say, “Let me know if I can do anything.” I was floundering.
Please Give Me a Hug
Generations of Givers
My parents spent their lives as givers, not receivers. Buying them a gift that they would graciously accept and use always proved challenging; they, however, never stopped gifting my older brother and me, their grandchildren, and even my paternal grandmother. Whenever I had a problem, my parents always responded with an encouraging “How can we help?” response.
My Story
I picked my husband up after work. “Happy birthday!” I said and gave him a quick kiss. “Can we take a short walk? I have something for you.
We walked a few blocks to the arboretum and found a quiet bench to sit on. I handed him a birthday card and watched his face as he read the last words on the page: “I’m pregnant.”
I waited for a reaction–any change of expression–but he just stared at me. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I burst into tears.