My husband and I took care of my mom for five years, when she had Alzheimer’s. She just couldn’t handle Assisted Living/Memory Care, so Hubby and I became the “Memory Care Unit.” There were days when I was stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed. Yet, I have no regrets.
I had to work less to accommodate my caregiving responsibilities. Our financial cushion is less due to working less, but my psychological cushion is in fact intact, because I knew that my mom always had my back, and I had hers.
I shared these caregiving experiences, using a pseudonym for her, to protect her privacy, in a book entitled, “My Mother Has Alzheimer’s and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver’s Tale.” The title reflects the fact that my once broad life was reduced to the pressing health concerns of my mom and dog.
Still, I have no regrets about putting our lives on hold, while trying to hold on to our sanity. When Hubby and I said our marriage vows, including, “In sickness and in health,” I thought of the health of my husband and me. The health of our family members didn’t enter into my wide-eyed bride’s eyes. My husband’s mom also had Alzheimer’s. Even though she was in Assisted Living, we still had many caregiving responsibilities for her. And still, no regrets.
“For richer for poorer” were also included in those vows. Because of our caregiving choices, we might be poorer financially, but richer for those same experiences.
No regrets.
R. Lynn Barnett
Alpharetta, Georgia
