One Step at a Time

It’s hard to be overlooked, especially if you’re quiet and shy by nature. So I developed a mask. A speak-up, in-your-face, gutsy personality—an alternate face! But inside I’m still shy and non-confrontational.

Food became my comfort. Was I stressed at work? I’d eat. Was I angry with my husband? I’d eat. Was a party too noisy? I’d eat in a corner. I ballooned, but I didn’t feel better. I preferred staying home, snacking, and watching NetFlix to going out.

I tried Weight Watchers with some success but wasn’t consistent enough. I hated going to parties, as I was the heaviest person in the room. I no longer felt desirable or attractive.

Soon my knees and the corns on my feet hurt. I walked into work (ironically, I work in health care) and limped out.

Then I started developing allergies. My face would swell and itch, my throat and chest would get tight, and I’d start wheezing. My labs crept up. A couple of close calls made me reevaluate my life. I started watching my diet. I was motivated to live!

I also had a straight-up conversation with my PCP. He recommended an injected weight-loss drug—but one dose and I was throwing up my guts up for two days. I ended up in the ER and stopped the medication. So I tried a different drug and finally, between the medication and a limited diet, I began losing weight. I started going to the podiatrist to get my corns shaved off monthly and invested in a pair of Asics sneakers—I was literally walking on air. I slowly started walking, and soon it became a haven of peace. I am happy, as both of my parents died in their fifties.

Now, one of my biggest stresses is to chase after the prior authorization team to get approval for my weight-loss medicine. The compliments and the increased self-confidence are great, but my long-term goal is to live a healthy lifestyle and stay out of doctors’ offices once I  retire. I am motivated to make a change, even if it is not dramatic. One of my next short-term goals is to shape up for a zip-line adventure and conquer that fear! Another is to learn to swim, as I have an island vacation coming up.

So when I’m asked “What are you doing?,” I smile and say, “I’m taking one step at a time!”

Esther Joseph Pottoore
Yonkers, New York