My eating habits are embarrassing. I open and close the refrigerator from the time I get up until I retire for the night. Apples. M&Ms. Strawberries and blueberries. M&Ms. Bananas and grapes. M&Ms. Carrots and celery. M&Ms. Cereal with skim milk. M&Ms.
The pattern is an obvious one: No protein but a lot of sugar. I buy sharing packages of dark chocolate M&Ms, which cost more than six dollars per package, but I share with no one. I quickly go through the “melt in your mouth” candies, which I keep cold in the refrigerator, wondering why my grocery bill is so large. Something has to change. And something is about to.
A visit in late June to my daughter in Manhattan and a visit by my son from British Columbia in late July taught me something I should have realized a long time ago: eating even one healthy meal a day is better for me than dining on candy throughout the day. When with my adult children, I eat dinner—veggie burgers, salmon, pasta, salads with tofu, chicken. These foods diminish my craving for the M&Ms and make me feel better about myself. Embracing this healthier diet is a turn for the better.
The question is whether I will maintain this new daily menu once I am again on my own. Cooking for myself is not fun; eating in a restaurant by myself can be lonely—and seems like a waste of money. I become lethargic when it comes to doing anything within my kitchen; grabbing a handful of M&Ms is so much easier than broiling salmon or grilling tofu. Or even scrambling an egg.
On August 8, I turn seventy-seven. I would like to live to the ninety-eight years my dad enjoyed, but I worry that I have already made myself susceptible to diabetes or a heart attack. I would like to have many more experiences with my children, but even that desire has not yet released me from my M&Ms addiction. I need determination and confidence; I need discipline and focus.
My birthday is my starting point: my time for a new beginning. I will clear my fridge of the delicious candies and start filling it with healthy substitutes. I will make dinner a time of pride and physical and emotional nourishment. That is my promise to myself; I pray I can adhere to it.
Ronna L. Edelstein
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
2 thoughts on “A New Beginning”
What a lovely comment, Yehudit. My children also encourage me to follow the one healthy meal/day regimen–and I am trying. Thank you so much for your kind words.
You write so well of one of the difficulties faced by someone who lives by themself. Eating alone always feels so isolated and isolating, it’s no wonder you turn to M&Ms as a fallback food–they’re handy, easy to eat, and that sugar & endorphin rush from the dark chocolate can’t be beat. (My go-to snack is also dark chocolate, which i buy one bar at a time and eat one square a day. But about once a month i eat the whole thing, knowing even as i go.back to the cabinet for another square that i will will feel sick for the rest of the afternoon.)
I hope you can stick to your resolve and improve your eating patterns. One good healthy meal a day plus decreased reliance on M&Ms is a good place to start. It would be shame if your sweet tooth silenced your writing prematurely.