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Latest Voices

Ten Days and Counting

We were waiting anxiously for a surgery to correct a stricture in our newborn son Ethan’s aorta, just four days following another procedure, to repair defects in his throat. After Ethan was prepped for surgery, the cardiovascular surgeon called us aside. 

“Our first surgery,” he said, “took much longer than we anticipated. We are all a little tired. If you feel strongly that we should go ahead with the operation, we will do it as scheduled. But we would rather wait until Monday.”   

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See What’s Left

 
The other day I asked my husband, “How many times a day do you worry about your body or your health?” His reply, “one or two,” shocked me. My answer: At least fifty.
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Pain: A Source of Worry

Ten years ago, I had my first jaw surgery; this past December I had my fifth. The latest surgery also came with radiation to–hopefully–prevent heterotopic bone from regrowing over the prosthetic device in my jaw and from causing me 24/7 pain. And worry.

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Destinies

I know how to care for my seriously mentally ill patients, while shielding myself from the pain of this work–how to let the ache go and not bring it home. But I’ve been away for a while, my guard has dropped, and there is no Star-Trek–like force field to keep my heart safe today.
My job as a psychiatrist in a large county jail provides some protections; cell doors and corrections officers guard my body. And unlike the young man I’m meeting with today, I started life in relative safety. I was not born with a congenital brain malformation giving

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Serendipity

  
Ten years–wow. Congratulations, Pulse. I wish that I’d discovered you sooner. It wasn’t until 2015, while I was taking an online writing course, that my instructor recommended I visit this “free online journal dedicated to health-care stories.” On first impression, Pulse looked like a mostly physician publication. Au contraire, I was very pleased to learn that you’re inclusive rather than exclusive–and, a rare find, interdisciplinary to the point of inviting patients to send in their stories.  
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Thank You for Saving My Soul

Pulse, thank you for saving my soul.  

I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but it’s true. So I hope you won’t mind–think it too “evangelical”– if I share my testimony…

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Beyond Reading: Pulse as a Pedagogical Tool

 
I have been connected to Pulse as a weekly reader and avid supporter since its inception ten years ago. In addition, as a medical educator, I consider Pulse to be a toolbox of pedagogical resources to help learners understand how stories, poems and visuals are additive to their education across the continuum of medical school, residency and continuing medical education.

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Secrets and Suicides

I must disguise the truth.

Because of HIPAA.

I must hold these heavy truths within my small-framed body. Because of HIPAA, I can’t tell you the real reasons I’m so upset–the death tolls, the suicides, the real-life people who are my patients and the real tragedies that they suffer. I have to change the identifying facts about this person or these people to the point that they are unrecognizable. They are my secret, my deep, dark secret that can fester inside of me and cause me to feel terrible. Incapable of saving. Inadequate at what I do, because what I

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Pulse on the College Campus

 
I am a faculty member and a pre-health advisor at a small, liberal arts college. I work with students interested in a variety of health professions. 

Because my training has all been focused on scientific pursuits, I have no direct experience as a clinician.

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