fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

Siberia

The appointment with Dr. M. was over in record time, and I texted my husband, “On my way!” as I headed downstairs. Getting out was easier than in, what with the hand sanitizer, temperature check and exhaustive list of questions just inside the narrow entrance. The university hospital was a ninety-minute drive, but we didn’t mind. The leaves were turning, and Iowa City has Indian food and a world-class bookstore.

I walked across the courtyard to the parking ramp, peering down the rows of cars. No blue Subaru. My left foot hasn’t worked right since a fracture five years ago, and that was as far as I could go. I texted again. “I’m ready! Where are you?” Nothing.

What had started as a brisk, sunny day was turning chilly and blustery. Normally, I would have walked back inside to wait in a chair by the window. But the chairs were gone, and the young woman at the door was adamant. “Do you have an appointment?” “Well sure,” I said, “but it’s over and my ride’s not here.” Those were not the magic words. I stood there, confused and shivering in my thin cardigan. I’d had two negative Covid tests in the past month, but I felt like Typhoid Mary standing so close to the line of new patients – the blessed ones, the soon-to-be warm. So I went back outside to the bench she pointed out.

It felt like Siberia. Poor, freezing woman huddled on a metal bench, watching all the lucky people being retrieved by attentive spouses, grown children, taxi drivers. “Why aren’t you answering my texts?” I wrote fruitlessly. I imagined my husband sitting in some cozy coffeehouse, sipping a London Fog while my fingers turned blue. I was as furious with myself as with him, embarrassed when I began sobbing beneath my mask. I don’t do that. I am not a crier, for heaven’s sake.

My last text read, “Going to Prairie Lights via Lyft.” Finally, a response. “Okay.” Okay? What? And then, there he was, striding out of the ramp, asking why in the world I hadn’t let him know I was ready. Then all the texts popped onto his phone, evidently held back by the ramp’s architecture.

I canceled the Lyft, got up and hobbled to the car. Turned the heat on high. Eventually started talking calmly, and forgave him.

Pam Kress-Dunn
Dubuque, Iowa

 

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