fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

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fostering the humanistic practice of medicine publishing personal accounts of illness and healing encouraging health care advocacy

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Neuro Consult No. 2

we enter
there is
one emaciated body, encased in ivory blankets
and
one clear-walled plastic bag
hanging from the edge of the bed, ominously filled with red liquid
i feel my stomach churn

we interrogate this small man
he tries to answer, twisting his lips into the shapes of words
but muscles disobey
and his eyes flash in frustration, fade back into glass
severe dysarthria status post multiple strokes, secondary to cocaine use
i was warned

the nurse enters
she
calmly empties the bag of bloody urine
brightens, says, there you are! awake finally!

his face cracks into a grin, lips spill, crooked white teeth emerge between
i see joy in his eyes for the first time
and i wonder about all the pieces of his life
that do not fit into my consultation note
that have conspired to land him in this hospital bed
with his crooked teeth and tiny frame and glazed eyes
and i wonder about all the parts of him
that i won’t get to know the way this nurse does
and i wonder why
his eyes never glisten like that when we walk in

Call for Entries

Pulse Writing Contest

"On Being Different"

Olivia M. Dhaliwal is a fourth-year medical student and aspiring rural family-medicine and integrative-medicine physician who hopes to focus on prevention (nutrition, sleep, exercise) and truly caring for patients in her future practice. She is passionate about the importance of generalists and the ways that our healthcare system in the US could be transformed with a focus on wellness—for patients and physicians. In her free time, she loves reading, writing poetry and spending as much time active and outdoors as possible, and can often be found with her rescue pit bull, Baylor.

About the Poem

“This poem is about my experiences in the hospital during rotations, when I realized how little I know, and how little time I get to spend with patients as a physician. We spend ten minutes with the patient on rounds, packaging up their symptoms and treatment plan for the attending, who swoops in, all reassurance and leadership, with confidence and express service for the patient; and as soon as we arrive, it seems, we are gone again. Patients realize by day two or three that we are there for five minutes, and that we don’t really mean it when we ask, ‘Do you have any questions for us? Is there anything we can do?’ because we don’t have time. Their eyes glaze over when we enter. This doesn’t happen with the nursing staff, who are actually there caring, day in and day out.”

Comments

5 thoughts on “Neuro Consult No. 2”

  1. Olivia,
    Beautifully written description of your patient. The fact that you care about getting to know your patients as well as the nurses do — great observation, great start! Many patients will open up if they’re given a chance “to be listened to” first rather than treated.

  2. As a family medicine nurse I love this! I am sure your future patients will be lucky to have you and to build those long-term, deeper relationships where they feel known and seen on their journey to healing.

  3. Henry Schneiderman

    Terrific poem. So proud that you are joining our profession. Now I know of two wonderful Drs Dhaliwal! You are absolutely on target.
    Palliative care physicians are the most nurse like. All physicians who work closely with nurses serve their pts, their colleagues, and their own spirits best.

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