I considered the idea of survival only when I found out, postsurgery, that the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. I wondered what would have happened had I waited any longer, had I ignored going to the hospital to follow up about the lump on my breast.
There are many reasons why I need to survive, but what is at the forefront of my mind is my three-year-old son. We have yet to experience so many small, and big, adventures. I need to see his unfolding as a human being and be available to him as his mama. He is a gift to me.
I need to survive to take the risk of putting into action my heart’s truest desire.
And what do I need to survive right now? I need space to breathe, be still, and listen. I need time to move at my own rhythm. I don’t need to figure anything out or to be guided—rather, I need to allow myself to receive and release. I need simplicity, movement, nourishment, and music. I need my family, my close soul friends, and healing supports. I need self-compassion, self-forgiveness, connection to my heart, and a strong sense of faith and trust.